John Candy: I Like Me 2025 * * 1/2 Stars

"WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET"

3rd time director (and actor) Colin Hanks helms John Candy: I Like Me. And how it took over thirty years to make a documentary about Candy's short existence is beyond me. "I Like Me" is a portrait of John, one of Canada's most successful comedic talents via film and TV. "This is a guy who, the minute you see his face, you're gonna smile". You tell 'em Dave Thomas. You tell 'em bro.

John Candy: I Like Me, well it's like the most garden variety docu you've ever seen, told chronologically like some bullet point presentation inspired by Last Dance monger and occasional producer Jason Hehir. I mean we know Candy was part owner of the Toronto Argonauts, we know he got his start playing various characters on SCTV, and we know he was a big, lovable galoot who was taken from us much too early (Candy died at age 43 in 1994). So why do we keeping watching the swipe that is "I Like Me?" Well everyone "likes" John Candy and myself, I'm just fascinating by his acting talent in films like Planes, Trains and Automobiles, JFK, and Splash. As Bert Lance said, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". 

So yeah, John Candy: I Like Me has interviews from John's buds like Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Martin, and the late Harold Ramis. There are also archives from Candy's career in the industry and revelations about his health (Johnny boy lost over 100 pounds before Hollywood encouraged him to put the weight back on, yikes!). What "I Like Me" fails to do however, is bring anything new to the transmission ring. The flick just feels like it's slightly fan-made, kind of akin to some safe paean without the panache. If it wasn't for the way Colin Hanks thinks in cuts or provides the pic with crisp, sprightly editing I would have panned John Candy: I Like Me completely. "Like" it or lump it. Natch. 

Written by Jesse Burleson

My Father, the BTK Killer 2025 * * Stars

KILLER CROC

"Can you imagine finding out that your father is one of the most evil people on earth". That would be totally rough, especially if pops hid that murderous smoke for many decades. Dennis Rader, we hardly knew ya! Ugh.

Anyway My Father, the BTK Killer is a product of good old Netflix, slightly skewed, merely dated, and almost half-done at 93 minutes. I mean this documentary is like two films in one, colliding with each other like freaking passing ships. You have one flick depicting serial slayer Rader, the John Wayne Gacy of Wichita and Park City, Kansas. The other involves Dennis Rader's daughter in one Kerri Rawson, a woman that doesn't know the meaning of time healing all wounds and actual abstemiousness. 

Um, why dredge up the past with one more interview Kerri? And why the need to hug the spotlight of daddy when everyone still keeps giving you the business about it? Rawson's soapbox-like plight combined with law enforcement's relentless pursuit of a deranged lunatic gives "BTK Killer" the feel of being a very uneven viewing experience. "He doesn't just fool an entire family, he fools an entire city". Yikes!

Directed by TV veteran Skye Borgman and released in October of 2025, My Father, the BTK Killer is decently paced, has some eerie moments, some solid interviews, and provides grainy archives from 1974 to 1991 (the years Dennis Rader offed ten people under the radar, nudge nudge). I mean if you take away the presence of drawn-out Kerri Rawson, "BTK Killer" unfolds nicely, like an enthralling Dateline episode a la creep-o Keith Morrison at the helm. But Rawson just has to chew the almighty scenery mind you, inhabiting most of the screen time and eyeing My Father, the BTK Killer like an unintentional vanity enterprise on the low. "Father lasher". 

Written by Jesse Burleson

Trainwreck: P.I. Moms 2025 * * Stars

MOMMY DEARESTS 

"Finally, he actually answered." What?? If I'm a private investigator looking to become a star of the next Cold Justice I need a little more smoke than that.

So OK, another tell-all doc, brief, filmed with reenactments like some Unsolved Mysteries episode without the poser. Yeah I'm talking about Trainwreck: P.I. Moms, a Netflix flick so eleventh-hour and pasted together it might as well just float away. So, are the moms in "P.I." looking to grab another fifteen minutes of fame as they take a break from their supposed jobs at Dollar General, Mickey D's, and/or Bird's Nest pub? And does one of said moms have some parlous anger issues? "What is going on?" For 45 minutes, a lot of hot air, a little shenanigans, and some good old claptrap.

So yeah, there's unfocused bits and bobs going on with Trainwreck: P.I. Moms. For realz. I mean this isn't just about some soccer dames who want to be freelance gumshoes with their own reality show on tap. There's corrupt cops involved and whistleblowers and showrunners and drug trafficking oh my! Um, you want your docus going off on tangents and then ending with an abrupt, bestial threat? Do ya? Well "P.I." will provide that fix, like a hyena jonesing for fentanyl. Yikes!

Directed by TV monger Phil Bowman and shot at breakneck speed (that's not always a good thing), Trainwreck: P.I. Moms could've benefited from being longer in length and more attuned to the story of the four ladies who just wanted to be eminent and get their freaking Kardashian on. I mean have you ultimately heard of Amy Wiltz, Denise Antoon, Charmagne Peters, and/or Michelle Allen? Neither have I. Explaining their plight from 2010 in just over a half hour seems like a moot point doesn't it? "Investigator shoaled."

Written by Jesse Burleson

Trainwreck: Balloon Boy 2025 * * * Stars

TRAIN SPOTTING

A documentary that seems to unfold like enigmatic prose in the throes of northern Colorado and on the non-low. Yeah I'm talking about 2025' s Trainwreck: Balloon Boy, one of those short-lived shorts that definitely earns its two-syllable title. I mean is the family involved in "Balloon Boy" pulling a supposed hoax? And is said family a bunch of kooky kooks with potty mouths and recurved teeth? And uh, did people actually enjoy watching a TV show called um, Wife Swap. "This is a very unusual situation". You don't say boss. You don't say. 

So OK, there's a grainy look to "Balloon Boy", some news footage archives that feel mentally involved, and a rather passing running time of 52 minutes that is so prevalent with these so-called Trainwreck anthology endeavors. Basically with Trainwreck: Balloon Boy you're looking at a snapshot, a brief, cinematic abridgment that surprisingly lingers long after the credits roll. You want a 2-hour, feature-length film starring Bryan Cranston as an eccentric dad who makes his kids do spaceship arts and crafts while he gives the impression that he kicked it old school at MIT? Good luck with that chief. Good freaking luck!

Distributed by Netflix because they can and uh, will, Trainwreck: Balloon Boy is about the Heene fam, a husband, wife, and kids who decide to build a homemade flying saucer out of what looks like good old Pop-Tarts foil (lol). Here's the thing: when the saucer in question accidently floats away with what the media thinks is a Heene tyke trapped inside, all controversy and chaos ensue. I mean talk about the ultimate jape my young Padawans. "Balloon Boy", well it excels as a docu that paints sympathy for yet also makes a paradox of the pseudo-protagonists included. It's just polarizing and/or unearthly enough to recommend. Astro "boy".  

Written by Jesse Burleson

Dangerous Animals 2025 * * Stars

SHARK TAILED

"I feel the same about what I do, it's my true calling." What, to feed defenseless women to hungry sharks via the waters of good old Australia? And camcorder-shoot the whole darn thing like you're Federico Fellini on the low? Might wanna question your own soundness pal.

2025's Dangerous Animals, well it's about a serial killer who picks up a surfer who may have different plans other than being maimed by those creepy, long-bodied marine fish (see first paragraph). Said surfer is cutie-pie Zephyr and she is played without reticence by Hassie Harrison, the poor man's lookalike a la Jennifer Lawrence. 

So yeah, "Animals" is in fact a shark flick and just because it includes the hook of some psycho who's Matt Hooper-obsessed with beach beard in tote doesn't mean it's wholly original. Remember Meg 2: The Trench and Deep Blue Sea 3 came out just recently and um, they had credible special effects, not low grant Hitchcockian leavings. 

Starring Harrison (mentioned earlier), Jai Courtney, and Josh Heuston and shot in the Gold Coast near Queensland, Dangerous Animals has some disturbing and compelling moments saddled with a decent soundtrack comprised of punk and classic rock remnants. I mean one might even say there's a serviceable vehicle there for horror enthusiasts so bent on getting their fix they'd see anything blood-soaked in a blackened theater. 

The problem however lies in Sean Byrne's pedestrian direction, his lack of implausibility with his rather pliant characters, and his need to drag out "Animals" to the point where it drains the viewer of any real dramatic momentum. I mean you take out Jai Courtney's solid, transformative performance as evil boat captain Tucker and you're left with a VOD in the Best Buy bin, a Split wannabe that poses as a weak memo in the M. Night Shama Lama Ding Dong canon. "Dangerous grounded."

Written by Jesse Burleson

Terror Comes Knocking: The Marcela Borges Story 2025 * * * Stars

BALANCE OF TERROR

"I know everything about you." Yeah that's a comforting thought, for a sick criminal to know your name, occupation, net worth, address, pregnancy status, etc., etc., etc. Oh and said criminal also plans on killing you whether you meet her freaking demands or not. Like I said, totally comforting, fo sho.  

Anyway 2025's Terror Comes Knocking: The Marcela Borges Story does involve some knocking and ringing, and that's in narrow B&E form, as tension builds inch by inch like the almighty bricks via the Great Wall of Gorgan. What can I say, me loves some unputdownable Lifetime swipe combined with 20/20-like reenactments on the low. 

So yeah, as something about some disguised gunmen who barge into a Florida couple's home and demand $200,000 from them, "Terror Comes Knocking" is akin to stuff like Firewall and 1991's Captive and Funny Games and Mel's Ransom, movies where the bad guys have to act a fool and mess with the sacred loving fam, berating them and threatening them and nearly torturing them. "You think you can lie to me?" Uh no boss. I um, wouldn't dream of it, really! 

Based on a true story in some violent, far-fetched dubious fashion and starring the likes of unknowns Dascha Polanco, Nisa Gunduz, and Johnathan Sousa, Terror Comes Knocking: The Marcela Borges Story is not your typical product of the Lifetime Television Network. How inspiriting. That's thanks to some more effective production values, a thug it out cast, and atmospheric, dense direction by mad dog Felipe Rodriguez, a TV vet doing some very unlike, TV feats. I mean a studio exec could release "Terror Comes Knocking" in say 1000 theaters across the US right now and an audience wouldn't really know the difference between the mercantile and well, the thriller fluff. That's "knocking" down drag out. Natch. 

Written by Jesse Burleson

Havoc 2025 * * 1/2 Stars

HARDY AND THE BOYS

A one-word title for a movie (yet again), barbaric, slightly noir-like, made for the done-dirty, blood squib crowd. Yeah I'm talking about 2025's Havoc, an action thriller so thunderous and animalistic, you need ear plugs just to view it (unless the volume is at mute). So OK, is Tom Hardy's Patrick Walker a rogue cop? And is he Tom Ludlow's second cousin? And uh, did Tommy boy forget BIC razors ever existed? "What you got for me?" Oh TomTom, you have no idea.

So yeah, there's enough bullets and visceral gunfire and nasty probing to save the whales, a darkened hued look, and plenty of Gotham-style dirty pool when it comes to Havoc. Basically the flick is a little Michael Mann, a little David Ayer, and lots of Paul Verhoeven, all glitz and glitter and blood and grime. 

You want red dye corn syrup blasted onto the screen just for kicks and giggles? Havoc will set you free. You want a vehicle that seems like one big-arse Mexican standoff shot primarily in Wales (that's random)? Havoc will give you that opioid fix. Finally, you want star Hardy (mentioned earlier) roaming Havoc as if he's some off-world bounty hunter saddled with a sand-papered, five o'clock shadow? Prego, it's in there bro. "There are people out there looking for you". Gee, tell me something I don't know. Yeesh!

Starring the likes of Forest Whitaker, Luis Guzman, and Hardy (duh) and distributed by Netflix (who else?), Havoc is about a lowdown detective who must rescue a crooked politician's son from the criminal underworld (sadly I had to look this up on Havoc's vast wiki entry). There are tons of fistfights and shootouts and car chases, filmed three-dimensional-y by Gareth Evans as if he went on a bender and found some body-worn cameras used by LA's finest. If only Havoc could've avoided a murky plot met with tons of fading characters it would have "wreaked" a little more. Mixed depredation.  

Written by Jesse Burleson

Broke 2025 * * 1/2 Stars

COWBOY JUNKIE

A one-word title for a movie, depressing, country-fried, distorted in its look just like its main persona. Yeah I'm talking about 2025's Broke, a character study to be interpreted by any viewer or any interested cinephile, in any sort of way they want to do it. Um, is Wyatt Russell's True Brandywine dead? Does he have brain damage? And is True rodeo's version of NFL center Mike Webster from good old Steeler Nation? "Nothing and nobody can make me feel as alive as I do when I'm on the back of that horse for 8 seconds." Ride 'em cowboy True, ride 'em.  

So OK, there's a twangy soundtrack, some dust, lots of glacial snow, "big sky", and a little blood, sweat, and tears with Broke. Basically the flick is Wind River meets The Grey, the neutered version. You want bleak, arid cinematography of The Treasure State and its various municipalities? Broke will give it to ya. You want flashbacks up the yin yang with a little psychedelia to boot? Again Broke will give it to ya. You want an abrupt ending with enough dangling, loose plot threads to power a small country? I didn't but that's Broke's unfortunate shortcomings. "So, what's your plan?" Uh, exactly boss, exactly. 

Produced by Vince Vaughn from his Wild West Picture Show Productions and directed by a rookie in Massachusetts native Carlyle Eubank, Broke is about a buckaroo named True Brandywine (mentioned earlier) who can't seem to shake the feeling of bronc riding despite being steadily maimed with traumatic injuries. Wyatt Russell (son of Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell) channels True and he's the biggest reason to see Broke, what with all his raw, physical acting, his ardor for pain, and his withering screen presence. Other actors (veterans Dennis Quaid, Tom Skerritt, and Mary McDonnell) fade in and out but this is Russell's harrowing, one-man show. You take him out of Broke and the film might need some serious "fixin". Natch. 

Written by Jesse Burleson

Caught Stealing 2025 * * * Stars

CUTOFF MAN

An atmospheric, squalid, armpit of a movie that's set in the Lower East Side of Manhattan while turning it into a freaking third world country. Yeah I'm talking about 2025's Caught Stealing, one of those wrong place, wrong time flicks like After Hours or Breakdown or well, even 1995's Nick of Time. So how much abuse can Austin Butler's Hank Thompson take? And how's his poor kidney doing? And uh, that's quite the sweet baseball swing you've got there Henry. "Who did this to you?" Yeah, when it comes to Caught Stealing that's the understatement of the year. Oy!!!

So OK, there's a comfortable shoe soundtrack by the British band Idles, a lot of leaky violence, some black humor, and a real mean streak when it comes to "Stealing". Basically if you want cinema straight from the conduit of ooze, this is your vehicle. You fancy bloody shootouts and fistfights and unsuspecting deaths? Yup, Caught Stealing will give it to you. You dig a solid cast with a few unrecognizable cohorts (Liev Schreiber and Vincent D'Onofrio as some Hasidic mobsters)? Again "Stealing" will give it to you. Finally, you want director Darren Aronofsky getting out of his psychological realism comfort zone to put out something destined for the midnight movie circuit? Prego, yup it's in there. Natch. 

Distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing and rounding out at nearly 107 minutes of running time, Caught Stealing is about Henry "Hank" Thompson (mentioned earlier), a star baseball prospect who while watching his bud's cat, gets embroiled with various thugs and gangsters who want him to find their $4 mil in some storage unit. Of course Thompson doesn't know what the heck is going on until he does and that's where some nasty chaos and conflict ensue. Austin Butler in the lead gives another star-making performance and helmer Aronofsky, well he gets the filthy chic just right, fashioning "Stealing" as a twisty crime thriller that would rather kick you in the teeth than play it fine-drawn. "Caught fire". 

Written by Jesse Burleson

Night Always Comes 2025 * * * Stars

COMES TO GRIEF

Wow, now that's a movie, a real troubled sort of movie. Yeah I'm talking about 2025's Night Always Comes, a type of thriller the Safdie brothers would have done had they made a companion piece to go along with their Good Time from nearly ten years back. "Night", well it's a dream within a dream except it's a nightmare, and it's a nightmare within a nightmare except it's real life. Did you get all that?

Anyway Night Always Comes has a distraught woman trudging through Portland, Oregon as if it's modern day Beirut, robbing and violently assaulting and lying, all the while trying to get $25,000 raised so her family won't get evicted from their home. Vanessa Kirby plays said woman in Lynette and it's a nerve-ending performance. You kind of root for her and feel sorry for her at the same time, something done rather ineffectively with the Taraji P. Henson persona from Straw (reviewed just two weeks ago). 

Night Always Comes, well it's a lucid downer par excellence, benefiting from seedy characters, a lot of danger coming from around the corner, and Benjamin Caron's atmospheric direction, full of tracking shots and interior, car camera shots that make you feel like you're bucking the Tilt-A-Whirl. Yup, it's one of those "race against time" flicks that takes place in um, the middle of the night, frothing and yearning and hoping for debt erasing to come to fruition. "I'm gonna be on the street again, is that what you want?" No, but I'd like to get some sleep so I can stop hallucinating while seeing bunnies. Yeesh! 

Starring Julia Fox, Eli Roth, and Kirby (mentioned earlier), "Night" doesn't just let up on the tension, it sledgehammers it to the point where you end up chewing your fingernails off (that's if I had any and I don't). "Night" capped. 

Written by Jesse Burleson