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Wednesday, July 16, 2025

Trainwreck: Mayor of Mayhem 2025 * * * Stars

WRECK IT ROBBIE 

Rob Ford was the mayor of Toronto, Canada from 2010 to 2014. He died two years after his term so in 2025's Trainwreck: Mayor of Mayhem, he's obviously not around to defend his controversial self. Oh well, what are you gonna do? 

"Mayhem", yeah it's an effective, sort of transitory documentary, edited lightning quick and almost in a rush to round off, as its 49 minutes could've easily been stretched out to 75-plus. Its title has the word "trainwreck" but could also be associated with the words "car accident". Hey, you can't look away from the aspect of contentiousness.

So yeah, Ford got caught doing drugs on camera, he was an alcoholic, and was accused of giving oral you-know-what to some unknown hooker. But hey, the public kind of dug him and he might've gotten a second shot as "Hogtown's" most powerful politician had he not fallen to a grave illness. 

Trainwreck: Mayor of Mayhem, well it basically talks about Rob Ford in the 3rd person, using archives and accounts from 10-15 years ago plus present-day interviews from the denizens that knew him best. Ford, yup he was the P.T. Barnum of elected heads, a real entertaining pill of a human being. He made defamed Governor Rod Blagojevich look like Romper Room by comparison and made Marion Barry seem rather choir boyish as quiet as it's kept. "He turned City Hall into a circus". Uh, fo sho. Fo sho fo sho.  

Now do I plan on recommending "Mayhem?" I have to. I mean it's so well done and brisk, a mere snapshot of a transmission that PBS might've salivated over had they got the almighty rights. And do I think Trainwreck: Mayor of Mayhem is a perfect way to hark back to what made Ford such a kooky stitch, giving the media the business like a rollicking oaf on hallucinogens? Not quite. The flick feels a little dated and it's so brief it might just float away after one viewing. "Train" fair. 

Written by Jesse Burleson 

Wednesday, July 9, 2025

My Mom Jayne 2025 * * * Stars

MOM SERIAL 

Jayne Mansfield died in a car accident circa 1967 in "The City that Care Forgot" (New Orleans, LA). But she is remembered as a bombshell Hollywood legend, appearing in over two dozen films and getting her Star on the Walk of Fame. 2025's My Mom Jayne is about the closed book of Mansfield, with heeded direction by her daughter and distribution by the always docu reliable, HBO. "The public pays to see me a certain way". Yeah they do Jayne, or should I say did.

So yeah, I've never viewed a Jayne Mansfield flick but I've taken in plenty of her youngest offspring killing it on the TV show Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (that would be Mariska Hargitay). Hargitay, well she helms "Jayne" in an intimate, sort of experiential way, interspersing archives with present-day revelations and interviews from her siblings about their siren momma who only lived to be a young 34-years-old. 

My Mom Jayne, yeah it shows Mariska to be a rookie born filmmaker when you look at its continuity determinants, its streamlined look, its camera that's always peeking in, and its ability to have Vera Jayne Palmer be a haunting, wistful presence long after her sudden demise. 

It's only in the last twenty minutes or so that the pic loses its focused footing, exposing the forked, Mansfield family tree the same way Natasha Gregson Wagner did with her nurturer in 2020's Natalie Wood: What Remains Behind (paging Dr. Povich, Dr. Povich). I mean think of your momma bear as a celebration of life Mariska, not some mild, personal resentment brought on by your tough-nosed, Olivia Benson persona. 

Overall "Jayne" is a solid piece of dewy-eyed commemoration, an evocative documentary that tries its darndest to veer away from the throes of vainglory and one's own exorcising of brood demons. Alpha "mom". 

Written by Jesse Burleson

Wednesday, July 2, 2025

F1: The Movie 2025 * * Stars

F-NEAR-BOMB

"We all lose our jobs if you can't pull off a miracle". The "you" refers to Sonny Hayes, a journeyman, drifter race car driver who loves his playing cards, his broke down mini van, and his slick tires on ye olde track. Hey, eat your heart out Frank Capua. 

Anyway F1: The Movie is a movie about Sonny and his 30 years later, alley-like return to the ring of Formula One (duh). "F1", well it's a sports drama that clocks in at a pretty swift 156 minutes. I mean I didn't think that was possible but it is. Semi-heady sequence, race, semi-heady sequence, race, PG-13 love-dovey clip, uh race. Rinse, rinse, repeat. 

So OK, F1: The Movie features Brad Pitt as Hayes and Javier Bardem as his race team owner Ruben Cervantes. Their scenes sometimes crackle with the rest of the film being rather dramatically inert. Bad side character actors with bad acting voices and a rather hackneyed screenplay from veteran scribe Ethan Kruger that has much ado about nothing when it comes to the lingo of motorsports. That's the misguided rub with "F1". I mean all the visceral, loud-arse heck for leather where you feel like you're in the cockpit doesn't compensate for what a hollow spectacle we've got going on here. 

"F1", yeah it only excels when it appears like a promotional video and/or advertisement for Formula One zealots on the come up. Heck, you've got to wonder if "F1's" helmer Joseph Kosinski gave up the reins to Michael Bay later on in production because producer Jerry Bruckheimer said so. That's a pretty scary thought. 

A little Tony Scott here, a little Cole Trickle there, a phoned-in Hans Zimmer score, the most mediocre parts of all tres, F1: The Movie wants to be as compelling as something like Ford v Ferrari but ends up looking about as Academy Award worthy as Gone in 60 Seconds (ouch). Lost "1".  

Written by Jesse Burleson

Wednesday, June 25, 2025

"Untold" The Fall of Favre 2025 * * 1/2 Stars

THE UNTOLD STORY

"People say he was a football god". Yup, they're talking about retired quarterback Brett Favre, a gunslinger who had a cannon for an arm and threw enough interceptions to almost equal the number of days in a year (336). Hey, Johnny Utah ain't got nothing on this cat.

Anyway "Untold" The Fall of Favre is a Netflix documentary, devoid of empathy and rounding out at a hasty running time of 62 minutes. Yeah it doesn't celebrate Mississippi's favorite son, it merely lynches him. "Untold", well it delves into the last, dark 17 years or so of Brett's life. You know, when he was sending naughty, you-know-what pics to television personality Jenn Sterger or diverting federal welfare funds to non-welfare related causes. What, did you think "Untold" was gonna be mainly about Favre's Super Bowl title in '97 or his three league MVPs? Get reals. 

So OK, "Untold" The Fall of Favre features Brett Favre not being interviewed but being portrayed as a mystery man and/or enigma in terms of his rise in the almighty NFL ranks. Heck, that's the docu's strongest attribute that's few and far between, a chronicling of Favre's journey to getting that Hall of Fame nod while going over 70,000 yards passing. Too bad "Untold" concentrates more on Favre's smear campaign, as the media and even his own buds (like Peter King) sort of throw him under the proverbial bus. Hey, I'm not the biggest Favre fan (mainly because I live in Chi-town) but if I'm Brett myself, I'd sue "Untold's" production company EverWonder studio for defamation of character. I mean I don't care how well the darn thing turned out. 

All in all, "Untold" The Fall of Favre has solid archives, good pacing, crisp editing, and it holds your attention despite the veritable, Favre "hate" shenanigans. The problem however seems to be that it was either made by some die-hard Bears fan or someone with a huge amount of rancor. "Unfold" is almost completely slanted. Natch.  

Written by Jesse Burleson

Wednesday, June 18, 2025

Becoming Led Zeppelin 2025 * * Stars

RAMBLED ON

"I'm going to form my own band". Yeah you are Jimmy Page, and they will be one the greatest rock bands to ever walk the face of the Earth. Hey, you can't argue with 300 million albums sold worldwide.

Anyway 2025's Becoming Led Zeppelin is a Sony Pictures documentary, a mere bullet point presentation of "Zep's" beginnings stretched out to 2 hours runtime. It's lengthy yet rather abrupt, tastefully done yet surprisingly careful, loud and rocked out yet fairly wandering. Yeah the "becoming" part of Becoming Led Zeppelin made sense here. The "leaving" part, well it "left" me unfulfilled as a critic and as a viewer. 

So OK, why does "Becoming" take 121 minutes to merely go over Zeppelin's collaborative genesis and their rocking, first two albums? I mean if that's the case then make the darn film a miniseries instead, something of better value for good old Netflix to offer. And why does Becoming Led Zeppelin the pic play it so veritably shielded, bypassing their mystique in favor of something that the musical troop approved instead of entertaining any morbid curiosity that could have fueled the eyeing audience. 

So what, no mention of lead singer Robert Plant's fascination with Indian and North African styles of music? No mention of drummer John Bonham's legendary demise in 1980? No mention of Page's obsession with the occult and his purchasing of Aleister Crowley's home? And uh, no mention of Zep's shark incident with a partying groupie (you know what I'm talking about)? 

Sure "Becoming" has well-preserved archives, sure the editing is standard and crisp, sure the interviews are ultimately pensive, and sure, these lads with their thunderous instruments could bring down the house like no one's business. But why see Becoming Led Zeppelin when you'd be better off reading the first half of the bluesy troupe's wiki page in thorough detail. "Becoming" unbecoming. 

Written by Jesse Burleson

Wednesday, June 11, 2025

Karate Kid: Legends 2025 * * Stars

THEY CALL ME LI FONG

I read somewhere on the Internet that Ralph Macchio is 63 years old. That's just crazy to me. I mean he'll always be young Daniel LaRusso in my book. Guess I'm still stuck in good old 1984. Ralph, yeah he shows up about an hour into 2025's Karate Kid: Legends, a sixth film in the distance running, Karate Kid franchise. Macchio's stay in "Legends" adds up to a sort of long-winded, thankless cameo. Yup, he probably got paid about $100,000 a line so that means he pocketed $3 mil. Cobra Kai never dies baby!!

Anyway Karate Kid: Legends is nearly a cash grab, an incredibly underwhelming entry in the Karate Kid canon. It clocks in at about 94 minutes, formulaic, devoid of character development, and sadly made for the malnourished, MTV crowd. I mean you'd be better off watching an alternate, hour and a half action thriller like '83's Revenge of the Ninja. At least you'd get a more compelling, darker side of martial arts met with an actual conflict and/or skirmish. "Sometimes it is the only way to move forward". Are you sure about that boss? Are ya?

Directed by a feature rookie in Jonathan Entwistle and appearing like it was made on a short weekend (that's not a compliment), Karate Kid: Legends is about a young boy who moves from Beijing to NYC only to be coerced by an old sage (Jackie Chan as Mr. Han) into competing in a karate competition called the Five Boroughs Tournament (I've never heard of such a thing). There's a final grudge match, some training, a tormentor, and a green-eyed romance so it's basically the diegesis of the first Karate Kid chapter all over again. The problem here is that it doesn't feel like there's much at stake and despite the punchy fight sequences (which are well shot), Karate Kid: Legends literally evaporates right after you see it. This kid manages to "stay in the picture" until he doesn't. Natch. 

Written by Jesse Burleson

Wednesday, June 4, 2025

Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning 2025 * * Stars

ON THIS MISSION

I read somewhere that Tom Cruise might do Mission: Impossible movies till he's ninety. That's "crazy town". I mean there's no way that could happen but you've got to admire Tommy boy's ambition. At 62, he's rolled out 2025's Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning, a 170-minute sequel and supposedly the last installment in the franchise. Yeah right. Based on the closing shot of "Final Reckoning", I "reckon" no. Hey, you heard what the Cruiser said.

Anyway Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning unfortunately does what "Dead Reckoning Part One" did two years ago. It provides an uneven, elongated script that nearly dumb-s down the actors. The film is about Ethan Hunt and his buds trying to stop an (AI) called the Entity who could destroy mankind. Yup, that was off of "Final Reckoning's" wiki page, I'm not gonna lie. Otherwise everything else in terms of the flick's diegesis is balderdash in the purest form. 

So what's left to admire with "Final Reckoning?" Well you have shootout and/or fistfight scenes and the Cruiser risking his life doing his own stunts. I mean isn't that why we pony up $10.50? Sadly either said scenes are cut too quickly or Tom's Hunt takes forever to retrieve a submarine module underwater or chase down a baddie in a biplane. Yeah, I'm thinking Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning needed an editor with a tighter sense of craft or someone with the legendary pedigree of Thelma Schoonmaker to sift through the whole lumpy shebang. "This can't all be true". But it is my dear, it truly is.  

Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning is directed by Christopher McQuarrie, a sometimes meat and potatoes filmmaker and Tom Cruise's cinematic, Siamese twin. I mean I liked his touches in the first hour, what with all the psychedelic fast cutting and the flashbacks, a sort of greatest hits collection in regards to the other seven M:I pics that came before it. But ultimately, "Final Reckoning" is a slight letdown, an almost blatant excuse to put out another one of these bloated things in 2-3 years. More of Tom Cruise running (eh), more of Simon Pegg acting like well, Simon Pegg (ugh), more globetrotting than the TV show Where in the World is Matt Lauer (double ugh), and Hunt having to save the world because no one else can fit it in their darn calendar. Um, there's no "self-destructing messaging" going on here. Natch.

Written by Jesse Burleson

Thursday, May 29, 2025

Con Mum 2025 * * 1/2 Stars

MIXED GAZUMP 

2025's Con Mum is a sad, factual film made only sadder by the fact that the black hat involved didn't get charged with any crime. I mean she could be wobbling around somewhere today, scamming the bejesus out of some poor schlub. Yikes. 

Anyway "Mum" is shot in the standard, docu form. It's film-making 101, a rinse, repeat of interviews and recent archives and present-day swipe, sterile and wonted and made for the TLC Network as opposed to the big screen. 

The victims in Con Mum, well they become pathetic, self-enablers. The "mum" in Con Mum, well she becomes as hated as any real-life character you could ever imagine. Now did I feel sympathy or commiseration for any fifteen minutes of fame-r involved here? No, just a bilious feeling in the pit of my stomach as I did the good old SMH. And does "Mum's" veteran helmer Nick Green provide a happy cessation and/or a fruition moment when those 88 minutes of running time are up? No, just a downer of a summing-up, where separation and false clean hands are involved. 

Containing a twist and taking place mainly in London (and just about everywhere else), Con Mum is about an 80-year-old woman who seeks out her actual, estranged son and his female partner and proceeds to diddle them out of nearly $500,000 US dollars (hence the twist). It's like that email you get from a kite that says, "give me $20,000 and I'll get you $5 mil" (yeah right). The mum in question is Dionne and the couple is Graham and Heather. "I never stopped loving you. I just want to be with you as much as I can". Yeah, whatevs Dionne.

So yeah, remember that line from a certain Matt Damon flick from '98? You know where Matthew's Mike McDermott says, "if you can't spot the sucker at your first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker". Well that applies to Graham and Heather, two naive foodies that seemed to have been easily duped by a husky, "Pat" of a human being that's nearly bald, unable to move freely, and likes to completely butcher the English language. I don't know whether Con Mum is a cry for help for Graham and Heather or a route for them to make a profit off this documentary after being taken for a monetary ride. Either way "Mum" is a very uneven viewing experience. Def "con". 

Written by Jesse Burleson

Thursday, May 22, 2025

A Deadly American Marriage 2025 * * * Stars

AMERICAN REVISED VERSION

It's not everyday that a Dateline episode gets put on celluloid but here we are with 2025's A Deadly American Marriage. I mean the only things missing are the commercials, those aerial shots of Podunk towns, and Keith Morrison's legendary creeper alert. "It's one of the bloodiest crime scenes I've seen in a long time." Yeesh!

Anyway "American Marriage" is a documentary, fact-based and quite disturbing when you realize that the people doing the crime never actually did the time (talk about a dead giveaway and/or spoiler alert). The film is about the murder of Irish gent and North Carolina native Jason Corbett, who supposedly was offed by his wife Molly Martens and his wife's father Michael Martens. 

Yeah there's some interviews, some barbarous scenarios, and that compulsory trial. Sound familiar? Well it should. I mean I would've written "American Marriage" off completely (pun intended) had it not been so darn well done and involving. Case in point: when's the last time you pooh poohed an installment halfway through of that long-running, NBC reality legal show to do some knitting on a Friday night? Exactly.  

So OK, you're probably thinking do I plan on recommending A Deadly American Marriage? Sure why not. But I'm recommending it for its craft and veritable, visual spiel as oppose to its almost non-existent level of freshness. For instance, if "American Marriage" predated Dateline and a young Josh Mankiewicz rolled in to be the moderator I'd probably call the flick a masterpiece, a real innovator of the probing of true crime. But here we are in the present, where there are 6 NCIS shows, 6-7 shows like 48 Hours, and thousands and thousands of podcasts about real torts and such. A Deadly American Marriage is oddly akin to the cinematic equivalent of the guy (or girl) who still buys CDs at Borders bookstore. "Marriage" mart. 

Written by Jesse Burleson

Thursday, May 15, 2025

The Golden Voice 2025 * * Stars

GOLDEN SLUMBERED

A clearly independent film with a perfectly cast Nick Nolte as a grizzled, homeless war veteran. It should work right, until it doesn't. What starts off as a hard-hitting drama in the opening 30 minutes turns into a mawkish, God's Not Dead-type sequel in 2025's The Golden Voice

So yeah, the "voice" in The Golden Voice refers to KJ (played by Dharon Jones). KJ wants to audition for an American Idol-style TV show but doesn't have the cash, the pull, or the family support to do it. Nolte's Barry is the dude that befriends KJ who with guitar and lyrics in tote, is on the verge of suicide. They both rely on each other for cleansing therapy, as their back and forth banter is of yore and/or the despairing, present-day variation. Some of the scenes crackle, other times they come off as plodding. "You've got a voice good enough to perform on any stage". Yeah but first that stage has to be a lowly street corner for tips. Believe that. 

Distributed by Vertical Entertainment, shot nearly four years ago, and directed by the unseasoned and possibly swayed Brandon Eric Kamin, The Golden Voice feels like two different halves of one movie. The first half grabbed my attention, a sort of numbing portrait about what it's like to be a vagrant, dumpster-diving and sleeping in a man-made shelter and being tormented by everyday denizens, all to the atmospherics of haunting, morose Philadelphia locales. The second half is pure bunk, a sort of Christian dramedy and/or Afterschool Special of the bible-thumping variety. Community theater acting is a mainstay and seeing Nolte's character have to dance to some tuneage is quite a cringey experience. Either there were tag team helmers involved or Kamin didn't have a say over final cut. Passive "voice". 

Written by Jesse Burleson